Top 5 Cubicle Pet Peeves

Monday, January 14th, 2008 | The Daily Special

I, and I assume most of America, hate working in a cubicle.  Most of the time I can just suck it up and deal with it, but I think because my cube neighbor is performing my number one cubicle pet peeve I feel the need to vent. I’m feeling a little Dilberty today, so beware…

5. Nose-picking/snot flicking.  – Those of us who share cubicle world with you are not interested in your nasal investigations or watching you spread the results all over your cube.  This is in part because you seem to have bad aim and in general snot seems to defy physical laws of trajectory.  If you can’t exactly specify where it’s going to go, don’t pick it and don’t flick it in your work area. 

4. Talking loudly on the phone.  – Your problems are important to me, really, but if you’re going to discuss your personal life so loudly that we all have to hear about it, at least do it on speaker so that we can hear the doctor’s response when you say things like: “The rash went away, but I still feel the burning.”

3. Participating in conference calls at your desk with the phone on speaker.  – In contrast to your personal problems, I do not care about your work or the work of people with whom you have to be on a conference call.  Find a conference room where all of us can wander by and make faces at you through the windows while you lean over the phone and say earth-shattering things like “I agree with Bob”.

2. Loud slurping of your drink/soup/miscellaneous liquid.  – I think it’s great that you’re keeping yourself hydrated/caffeinated at work so that you can stay awake to surf the Internet, but I don’t need to hear you making your “I’m a little shop vacuum” impression.

And my number 1 cubicle pet peeve:

1. Clipping your fingernails in your cubicle.  I cringe when I hear this noise; it means that there are little fingernail clippings going everywhere and they might be coming into my cubicle.  Your nail clippings, and whatever is underneath them, should be kept at home.  This is not CSI, where I might have fun looking at what or whom you’ve been scratching underneath the microscope, but instead a workplace where personal hygiene should be done prior to entering your cubicle.

3 Comments to Top 5 Cubicle Pet Peeves

rg
January 14, 2008

I also hate when people file their nails. That sounds grates on my nerves. You should get the nose pickers t-shirts that say NIU: Nasal Investigation Unit.

Nicole
January 14, 2008

OMG, people clipping their nails at work is definately one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. I used to work at a job where my male co-worker (there were only 2 of us in the satelight office) used to clip his TOENAILS at his desk. EW EW EW. I still gag thinking about it.

tori
January 15, 2008

Who are these vile coworkers of yours, picking and clipping at their desks? GROSS.

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