Questions to be Answered – 2008

Thursday, January 10th, 2008 | The Daily Special

I’ve decided to take a different tactic on the whole “New Year’s Resolution” thing.  I generally don’t make those anyway, since I feel like it’s frivolous to make goals like “loose 20 pounds” when I know myself well enough to know I can’t even stick to the grocery list, let alone a list of things that I have to complete in a year.  I could try “stick to the grocery list” as a resolution, but it’s not going to happen; I’m going to hit the store when I’m hungry and pretty soon there will be three bags of chips and some Boursin in the cart before I know what hit me. 

So, what I have decided to do is create a list of “Questions to be Answered” for the year.  It will be like goals, but I think it will be easier and far less guilt causing if I don’t get them answered.

So here goes; here are my “Questions to be Answered 2008″:

1. What is with the hand grenade decal on people’s cars?  – I see these everywhere here and it just makes me wonder.  I looked it up and figured out that there is a snowboard gear company called “Grenade”, but is this really why people are putting that on their cars, or is there some other “I love the bomb” thing implied?  This will probably require some field research.

2. Can I go for an entire week without chocolate and not kill anyone in the process?  - In order to complete this answer will I need to lock myself in a room and not see anyone for that whole week?

3. What is it really like to give birth to a baby?  – I have no choice on answering this one at this point; it’s unavoidable, but maybe if I take a “this is research” approach to it maybe I can stop being so afraid of what is coming. 

4.  Is it possible that this semi-chauvinistic country can elect a woman president?  – Seriously, how backwards are we that this is still not done in 2008?  We are so behind Europe that we look like a bunch of Neanderthals…

5. Is it possible that this semi-racist country can elect a black man president? – Can we make this huge leap? I don’t know – there are still so many racist, ignorant people in this country that it truly worries me whether it can be done, and if it is done, will it be dangerous for him?

6. Can I learn to knit and successfully complete a scarf that does not look like it was knitted by a crazy person?  – I tried learning from a book, only to figure out that I can’t even master the “cast-on” part from a book.  But I would like to learn; it’s so much more portable than weaving and it would use all that lovely yarn I have that I have never had the energy to put on my loom.

7. Is it possible for me to ever be able to beat Mike in Scrabble?  Will he need to be sedated for me to win? Maybe I can win if we play the day that he gets his wisdom teeth out?

8. Will I miss my job and the satisfaction that I get from it when I’m not working? Or will I be so happy at home with the baby that I don’t need to feel the rush of finding a huge defect that no one else has found?

9.  What does it take to make my greyhound smile?  – I hear that they do this and I’ve seen pictures, but I don’t think I’ve ever really seen Cash smile.  Do I have to give him a treat and simultaneously rub his butt and neck to get him to smile?

10.  Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains? – I added this in for fun, because really, why not? My wool socks shrink every time I wash them.  I wish Dr. Science was still on NPR… 

That’s all I have for now, but the great thing about this list is that I can keep adding to it; perhaps there is more to come…

5 Comments to Questions to be Answered – 2008

Mike Munhall
January 10, 2008

2. Please alert me when you attempt this. I’ll make arrangements for myself to be elsewhere.

7. Bring it on.

8. Some clarification is in order: Dorrie is a QA analyst. Her job is to find bugs in software and processes (among other things). By “finding a huge defect”, she is referring to a defect in software. That is, performing her job. It’s not a weird obsession with finding something wrong with the baby.

9. I think he smiles all the time. I’ll point it out to you. And yes, I’m pretty sure you can make him smile by simultaneously giving him a treat, rubbing his neck, and rubbing his butt.

rg
January 10, 2008

Why would you deny yourself chocolate?

Dorrie
January 11, 2008

Mike – I hope your response to number 2 is not the same as your response to number 3 – otherwise, we’re in trouble.

tori
January 11, 2008

I love this list and the whole new take on resolutions. A friend told me once that his family doesn’t do resolutions, either. Instead, they pick something they want to leave behind from the year that is winding down, such as anger or guilt about something. They write whatever it is down on a piece of paper and then burn it at midnight. Sort of new-agey but also kind of cool, I thought.

Anyway, if you can’t master the knitting, I recommend crocheting. In my experience it’s easier than knitting and just as portable. Really, it’s more portable because there is just one hook and not two needles. I have zillions of blanket patterns I can send you if you ever want to give it a try.

ellebee
January 11, 2008

What a great list! Though, I’m with Rena – no need to deny yourself chocolate goodness. :)

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